Colorado
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... You carry your $3,000 mountain bike on top of your $500 car.

... You thought "Californication" would be banned by Amendment 2.

... You think "South Park" is a place to stop for gas on your way to Buena Vista.

... You have a business degree and are frying burgers at a McDonald's in Vail.

... You have a flat tire in your refrigerator and your garage.

... You tell your husband to pick up granola on his way home from work and he stops at the day care.

... You own a big dog named Aspen, Buck, Cheyenne or Dakota that wears a bandanna.

... You cast out your fishing line while white-water rafting.

... You've never seen the tourist attractions in your own city.

... All summer you thought a redneck named "Bubby" was gonna be your quarterback.

...You think a pass does not involve a football or a woman.

... You are 82 years old and take up snowboarding.

... Your SUV tire size exceeds your IQ.

... Your real Y2K fear is running out of Celestial Seasonings tea and trail mix.

... The entire top of your head is bald, but you still have a pony tail.

... You personally wouldn't pay $10 per head to drive up Pikes Peak unless it was the only mountain on earth, but you tell all our house-guests to do it.

... You can recite the entire Bible from memory, but can't remember to use your turn signal (CO Springs).

... You get depressed after one day of foggy weather.

Tags:  mountain californication south park burgers business aspen buck cheyenne fishing